here’s to 2017 🥂✨🎉

in january i felt only fever and grief and not knowing what else to do, biked to the frozen seaside as the sun was rising and in the stillness, recorded a poem over and over

in february i took myself to greece where i found solace in sitting next to century old ruins—those survivors, they comforted me

in march i explored berlin with friends who held space for me through the year

in april i went to CA, cuddled with a cat, and let sunshine soak into my system

in may i cried and smiled and cried and bought myself flowers

in june i felt so held and seen when i reached out to friends who sent me so much love and support when i needed it most

in july i came home and drove a car again for the first time in 10 months

 

in august i did yoga and felt hard feelings

in september i took a roadtrip, each mile closing the gap between past and present; i witnessed so much love and joy

in october i moved to Austria and fell in love with the mountains

in november i laughed and wrote and laughed some more

in december i sang and danced

i feel lucky to begin 2018 with so much time for reflection. 2017 didn’t start with any kind of ritual or resolution. it began with the flu, in chaos. the year where i cried what meteorologists might call ‘record floods.’ but also the year where i felt so much laughter bubbling up from deep inside of me, from the same place the tears had come from, from that epicenter of pain.

tonight, to welcome the new year, i will be lighting a candle, thinking of those i love, and saying a sort of blessing on 2018 and what it might bring. i’m into ritual and symbolism and that sort of thing.

 

i hope 2018 brings you immense love; i hope you feel held and seen.